Why Resolutions Fail and How to Set Intentions That Stick

January is often painted as a fresh start. The New Year arrives, and with it comes a flurry of resolutions—promises to eat healthier, exercise more, or finally tackle that daunting goal. Yet, by the second Friday in January—often dubbed “Quitters Day”—many of those resolutions are abandoned.

So, why do resolutions fail? And how can you set intentions that align with your values, creating meaningful and lasting change? We talked with Dr. Laura Eddy, Therapist at Modern Minds to find out.

Why Resolutions Don’t Work

“Resolutions often fail because they focus on outcomes rather than the journey”, says Dr. Eddy. For example, you might set a resolution to lose 20 pounds or save a specific amount of money. While these are clear goals, they can feel overwhelming, rigid and disconnected from the bigger picture of why they matter to you.

“Resolutions tend to focus on the ‘what’ without connecting to the ‘why,’.  When a resolution is purely outcome-driven, it’s easy to feel defeated when progress is slow or when life inevitably throws challenges your way, says Dr. Eddy.”

Shifting from Resolutions to Intentions

Instead of focusing on rigid resolutions, try setting intentions rooted in your personal values. Intentions aren’t about perfection or achieving a specific outcome—they’re about creating a direction for your actions, grounded in what truly matters to you.

Modern Minds, emphasizes the importance of values as a compass for behavior. “Values are the things that are most important to you—what you want your life to stand for,” say Dr. Eddy.

For example:

  • Instead of resolving to “lose 20 pounds,” your intention might be to prioritize health and energy so you can keep up with your kids.
  • Instead of “saving $10,000,” your value-driven intention might be financial security to reduce stress and create more peace of mind.

How to Set Intentions Aligned with Your Values

Here’s a step-by-step guide to get started:

  1. Identify Your Core Values
    Ask yourself: What’s most important to me? Is it health, connection, growth, security, creativity, or something else? Write down a few values that resonate deeply with you.
  2. Connect Goals to Values
    Once you’ve identified your values, think about what goals or actions align with them. For example:
    • Value: Connection → Goal: Spend one evening a week device-free with family.
    • Value: Health → Goal: Add more whole foods to your meals.
  3. Start Small and Be Flexible
    Intentions aren’t about drastic changes. Start with small, achievable steps. If your goal is to move more, you might begin with a daily 10-minute walk instead of committing to an hour-long workout every day.
  4. Focus on Progress, Not Perfection
    Progress isn’t linear, and setbacks are normal. When things get tough, reconnect with your values. Why did you set this intention? What matters most to you?
  5. Celebrate Small Wins
    Recognize and celebrate even the smallest steps forward. Every action aligned with your values is a step in the right direction.

Moving Toward Your Values

“One of the most powerful principles taught at Modern Minds is “committed action”—taking steps, however small, toward what matters to you,” says Dr. Eddy. “The goal isn’t to achieve perfection, but to live a life more aligned with your values.” Eddy adds.

For instance, on a dark January evening when motivation feels low, you might remind yourself that your value of health is what drives you to prepare a nourishing meal or go for a brisk walk. Even if it’s not perfect, you’re moving in the right direction.

Let January Be a New Kind of Beginning

This January, resist the pressure to set resolutions that feel like a chore. Instead, focus on creating intentions that align with your values. Use those values as your compass, guiding you toward actions that bring meaning and fulfillment to your life.

It’s okay to start small, and it’s okay to falter. What matters most is that you’re moving toward what’s truly important to you.

“January is about more than resolutions,” Dr. Eddy reminds us. “It’s about reconnecting with what matters and finding ways to live in alignment with your values—even on the darkest, coldest days.”

So, as the short days of January stretch on, let your values light the way. Need help identifying your values? Watch this video to learn more about how Modern Minds helps clients identify their values check out this video: https://modern-minds.com/wellness-toolbox/how-to-do-a-values-card-sort/. Interested in connecting with us? Complete this form: https://modern-minds.com/lets-talk/