What’s Really Happening When You Feel Anxious

When anxiety shows up, it can feel overwhelming, our hearts race, thoughts spiral, and even small challenges can seem impossible to face. But according to Laura Sullivan, Therapist at Modern Minds, anxiety often comes down to two simple, yet powerful,  distortions in how we see ourselves and the world around us.

“When we experience anxiety, we’re usually doing two things,” says Sullivan. “First, we’re overestimating the threat, believing that what’s ahead of us is bigger, scarier, or more dangerous than it really is. And second, we’re underestimating our ability to handle it.”

That combination, seeing the challenge as huge and our own capacity as small, fuels the anxious cycle. But Laura reminds us that much of anxiety stems from something deeper: a lack of self-trust.

“A lot of anxiety is really about not trusting ourselves,” she says. “It’s forgetting that I can do hard things and that I’ve done them before.”

The truth is, our bodies and minds are incredibly adaptive. When we finally meet the challenge, the presentation we’ve been dreading, the difficult conversation, the unexpected change, we usually find our footing. Our minds and bodies adjust. We rise to the moment.

That’s why Sullivan encourages clients to practice self-compassion and to gently remind themselves of their own resilience.

“Once we actually face the thing, our mind and body adjust,” she says. “We just have to remind ourselves of that and meet the challenge head-on.”

How to Rebuild Self-Trust in Moments of Anxiety

Laura’s insight offers a simple but profound takeaway: managing anxiety isn’t about eliminating fear, it’s about remembering your capacity to handle it. Try these small practices to strengthen that self-trust:

• Name what’s happening. Remind yourself: “I might be overestimating the threat and underestimating myself.”
• Reflect on past resilience. Think of moments you’ve handled challenges before, you’ve done this.
• Practice self-compassion. Speak to yourself with the same encouragement you’d offer a friend.
• Take one step forward. Confidence grows through action even small ones.

“Anxiety isn’t something to fight,” says Sullivan. “It’s something to listen to. It’s often just a sign that you’re stretching, growing, or stepping into something that matters.”