Balancing Work, School, and the Holidays: Letting Go of Parental Guilt

The holiday season is magical—but let’s face it, it’s also chaotic. Between work deadlines, school performances, and holiday festivities, parents often find themselves stretched thin. Add in the occasional tearful meltdown from your child because you were late or missed an event, and the guilt can feel overwhelming.

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. The good news is that parental guilt doesn’t have to dominate your holidays. We spoke with Dr. Laura Eddy, therapist at Modern Minds, to explore practical tips on letting go of guilt and finding balance during this bustling time of year.

Understanding Parental Guilt

“Parental guilt often comes from a place of love,” says Dr. Eddy. “It’s natural to want to be there for your child every step of the way, but it’s equally important to recognize that no one can do it all. Missing one event doesn’t define your ability to be a loving parent.”

Dr. Eddy encourages parents to shift their mindset. Instead of focusing on the moments you miss, focus on the countless ways you show up for your children every day. This perspective helps you avoid letting guilt overshadow the meaningful connection you already have with your kids.

Tips to Let Go of Guilt During the Holidays

Here are practical strategies to navigate the season with less guilt and more joy:

1. Set Realistic Expectations

“It’s impossible to be in two places at once, and trying to do so only sets you up for frustration,” says Dr. Eddy. Take a moment to evaluate your commitments and decide where your presence will have the greatest impact. Share these priorities with your family in advance to set clear expectations.

2. Communicate Honestly

If you know you might miss part of an event, let your child know ahead of time. “Children are resilient and benefit from honest communication,” Dr. Eddy explains. “Tell them you’re looking forward to hearing all about their performance or seeing photos from the event afterward.”

3. Focus on Quality, Not Quantity

“It’s not about being at every single event,” says Dr. Eddy. “It’s about making the moments you are there count.” Engage fully—turn off your phone, cheer them on, and celebrate together afterward. Those moments of connection are what they’ll remember most.

4. Create a Backup Plan

If you can’t make an event, involve another family member or friend who can attend. “This shows your child they’re supported by a network of people who care about them,” Dr. Eddy shares. Follow up by celebrating their achievement together at home with a special treat or family movie night.

5. Practice Self-Compassion

“Guilt often stems from a harsh inner dialogue,” says Dr. Eddy. “Instead of beating yourself up, ask yourself what you would say to a close friend in the same situation. Most likely, you’d offer understanding and encouragement. Give yourself that same grace.”

6. Reframe the Meltdowns

When your child is upset that you missed part of an event, it’s important to validate their feelings without letting guilt take over. Dr. Eddy suggests saying something like, “I can tell this was really important to you, and I wish I could have been there for the whole thing. I’m so proud of you, and I’d love to hear all about it.”

Remember: You’re Enough

As much as you might wish for superhuman powers during the holidays, remember that being a parent is about the long game. “Children don’t need perfection,” says Dr. Eddy. “They need consistency, love, and a parent who models how to navigate life’s challenges with compassion and resilience.”

This holiday season, give yourself permission to embrace the imperfection of it all. Celebrate the moments you can be there and let go of the guilt for the ones you can’t. After all, the greatest gift you can give your family is your love—and that shines through in ways far bigger than any single event.

Modern Minds is here to support you during the holiday season and beyond. For more information on managing stress, parental guilt, or other challenges, connect with one of our therapists today.